Hurt and suffering in Quiet
Hurt and suffering in Quiet
It is severely difficult when your child has been sexually assaulted
As a parent you spend their entire childhood protecting them from the landmines of life. You try to send them to the best schools you can, you monitor their friends and the people they date. You instruct them on how to deal with the police. All that "Yes Sir" and "No Sir" and thank you for the ticket Sir lecture. But at some point, they grow up and are outside of your control. You hope that all you have taught sank in.
But one night you get that dreaded phone call that somehow, they found themselves in a situation where they have been assaulted by someone. You are devastated, and you feel their pain as much as they do. When it is something like rape you don't want everyone to know. So, you are left with processing the fact that you could not protect your child and the pain is one that you can not block out. You feel lost and you don't know what to do or any many cases what to say to your child or your friends.
You're committed to protecting your children. The reality is hundreds of people are sexually assaulted every day. Often time it comes at the hands of a loved one, a family member or somebody know one imagined. Sexual criminals live amongst us and the often seem like some of the nicest people in the world. Because you like them and because they are innocent looking you allow them in and begin to trust them.
As a parent of a victim you often need emotional support to cope with this criminal act on your child. Here are some ideas that you can try:
Be careful to vet a person that you can trust to see this information. Encourage this trusted person to not be judgmental of the situation. Having some one begins to judge your child with things like why she would put herself in that position or why was he doing that in the first place is not helpful. Finding other people who have been through this traumatic experience can be very helpful. The RAINN group is a nation support group that can help.
As a parent it is hard to love yourself when you know your child is hurting. You do have to focus on yourself and make sure that you are doing alright through this trying time. You really need to be helpful and your mind needs to be stable to help your child through this trying time. Don't be afraid to cry on a friend's shoulder and find things you can get yourself into like volunteering at church or a local charity
You must walk that fine balance of being there for your child while not being overwhelming to your child. Be available, listen more and sometimes just be around and be quiet. If your child has confided in you then consider yourself lucky. Especially in todays society so many children don't tell their parents anything. Understand, that many of the assaulted feel a deep sense of blame and shame.
Remember, these types of attackers are likely to do it again, so it is important to be especially careful if the attacker is someone that you know. If the attacker was a stranger, your police department should have detectives that will find and get the attacker off the street. Often time you can work with the police without letting everyone else know what happen. This is truer if it is not a family member or a close friend of the family.
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