How to engage in self-reflection
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How to engage in self-reflection

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Don't give your power away to others


In recent times, the art of self-reflection has become a rarity. Persons find it easy to blame others for their problems rather than own up to themselves. The truth is blaming others isn't healthy for you, and it doesn't bode well for you in the short and long run.


Most of what we see as outward problems and blame other people for what is actually our own faults. This is where healthy self-reflection comes into the picture. Self-reflection looks out your role in troubling situations, and it helps you to make sense of what is happening.


The best way to stop the blame game, and find real answers to tough situations is to engage in self-reflection. Here is how you go about it.


  • • Check yourself and find out those things or people that upset you. Try and look for the reason why those things or people upset you. It could be that they do something you inherently don't like or have one specific behavior that just irks you. Find out what those triggers are and create a list.
  • • Once you identify the triggers, consider how they affect you individually. Look out for the impact they have on you. Do you become unproductive at work? Or you hardly get any sleep? Take note of how the triggers affect you.
  • • Analyze the importance of the impact and ask yourself, is this something I should fix, or I should just let it go? Remember, not all problems should be fixed, sometimes it is better to just let it go. It saves you time and energy.
  • • If in your analysis, you find out the impact is too significant to ignore, then the next thing to do is to consider your role in creating the situation in the first place. This might be too hard for some people, but maybe there is something you do that exacerbates the situation. This is all part of the self-reflection, you have to include yourself if you want to resolve the issue.
  • • Identify the steps you have taken that seems to inflate the issue. You have to be honest with yourself. Everyone in one way or the other have had a role to play in the situation. So examine all the evidence and try to see your involvement in it.
  • • Look for just one thing you can do differently next time. All you need is one positive change in relation to the situation at hand.
  • • Work objectively to find out something new that you can do. Start seeing solutions, and not just faults. This is not the time to play the blame game but rather to be part of the solution. Self-reflection comes from wanting to take actions and finding lasting solutions to the situation at hand

Negative behaviors will always come at you whether you like it or not. You might not be able to stop them from coming your way, but you can determine the way you react to it. Hold your ground, and try and be calm as much as you can. Whatsoever negative energy that comes your way, you can turn it around into something positive.



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